Thursday, September 29, 2011

A Season of Change

Fall is such a season of change. Although the last few months of my life have been nothing but change. I am trying to embrace the change and roll with it instead of resent and fight it. I do have my days though when little bursts of emotions just have to work their way out...today is one of those days. I guess that is my way of "mourning" the loss of some of the unwanted changes that have occured. Today my heart is feeling very empty. There are so many horrible trials out there and my measly little trial is all really so meaningless but it is how I feel nontheless. My superficial, worldly complaints that are spinning in my head just need to get out of my brain. So...I miss my house. I miss my dear friends. I miss having my dear friends as dear neighbors. I miss my ward, soo much. I miss my closet. I miss my bathtub. I miss our yard. I miss our bridge. I miss my wood floors. I miss my fireplace. I miss MY KITCHEN. I miss having a fridge IN my "kitchen." I miss having a dishwasher. I miss having a stove and an oven in my kitchen. I miss parking in the garage. I miss my porch. I miss seeing the deer in my yard. I miss feeling in awe of the beauty of our neighborhood entrance every time I entered it. I miss running past the pond. BUT... I have been so blessed!!! I am so incredibly grateful for 5 healthy children that I love more than life itself! THAT IS SO HUGE! They keep me going and make me want to be a better person...help me to keep striving toward the divine potential that only Heavenly Father can really see in me. I am grateful for a good husband that works very hard to provide for our family. He is a very good man and has so many amazing strengths...and he is soo hot. he he. I am so grateful for my selfless parents who have once again opened their home up to the pure chaos we call a family. I am so grateful to have this time with my parents. I love them so much. I am so grateful my kids are having the chance to spend so much time with my parents. I am so grateful we have this open, spacious basement to stay in. I am so grateful our house sold so fast at a fair price. I am so grateful our 2nd car didn't die until after moved. I am so grateful we then had some money to replace it. I am so grateful Anthony has been so selfless and patient in driving that lil' beater for so many years. I am grateful that we found a house to buy that felt right and that we will eventually get to move into it. I am so grateful it is so close to the kids school. I am so grateful my kids are adjusting to the change. I am so grateful for the chance to have my prayers answered and to feel like I am moving forward according to THY will. I am so grateful for prayer. I am so grateful to have the spirit with me and to feel its guidance and direction. I am so grateful for the peace the temple gives me. I am so grateful for the Plan of Happiness. I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows me better than I know myself and knows what I need to learn,endure and experience to mold this diamond in the rough that we all truly are. I am grateful for a husband with the same eternal perpective. I am grateful for extended family that loves us and supports us. I am grateful we "get to" start a new chapter in life right now...I know it will be a good one because I choose for it to be. AHHHHHH..ok, feel better now. Time to go get the kids from school. Love you all!

2 comments:

Adri Ballingham said...

Great post Mandi. I was wondering where your new house is. I hope you are closer to me maybe we can start running together. We can run and vent and laugh and cry. Love you!

DAVID HAAS said...

Hello,
I have a question about your blog. Please email me!
Thanks,
David