Dance in the Rain

I have so much to be grateful for. Sometimes I feel so inadequate for all that Heavenly Father has afforded me. I have been so humbled the last few months. I am more now than ever confident that Heavenly Father knows me, my hearts desires, my needs and my wants. We have witnessed miracles take place in our lives last month that literally left me speechless(and if you know me well..that is rare.;)We have been going through some trials that I will someday expand on but suffice it to say that I couldn't see a "fix." As I spent many hours in fasting and prayer I actually found myself more and more confused at the answers I was receiving. Continual feelings of "hold tight..the answer is coming...hold on and be patient...where do your treasures lie?...juld hold on and trust in me." Those were the repeated answers to my pleadings. I felt that the situation required something must happen immiediately, but that wasn't the guidance I received. So...I waited...and waited. Patience isn't my stongest virtue. Perhaps that was part of my lesson to be learned. The end is now in sight. I still don't know how things are going to comletely sort themselves out but things are starting to happen. Things I never even imagined could or would happen. Heavenly Father sooo sees the big picture and wants us to have joy. Sometimes I find myself caught up in convincing Heavenly Father that MY will COULD also be HIS will. Negotiating is not part of the Plan of Happiness. HE has already read my book and I am still in the preface. His small tender mercies are daily "Just Because" Love Notes to me. I am choosing to find joy in the little simple things in life. No more waiting for this or for that to feel content. Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass..it's about learning to dance in the rain. Sometimes we get so caught up in "controlling" things around us or trying to make everything perfect that we miss the tender mercies all around us. The beautiful gifts Heavenly Father is laying out before us..things that we may not even notice let alone thank Him for. Yesterday I went out on a cold, brisk walk. Just me, my red running shoes (that I love!)and my IPOD. I had planned on just a quick walk to the base of the Cove then home. As I hit the base it felt so invigorating...the cold air felt great in my lungs, the songs were calling to me to sing with them and put a spring in my step. The sunset was absolutely stunning! I actually HAD to stop and just stare at the pink clouds over the beautiful mountains. The way the sun was hitting the snow covered mountains...I couldn't stop staring. (I have a thing for sunsets anyways.) As I turned and headed towards the pond to complete my loop the setting seemed surreal..I felt like I was standing in my own little piece of Heaven. My thoughts didn't feel cloudy and jumbled, it was quiet and still and I KNEW Heavenly Father was indeed watching over his girl...over me! I felt a lump in my throat and wanted to shout out the joy I was feeling. This even sounds crazy but as I walked I could smell the nearby field of horses...it actually brought a smile to my face and made me think of my dad...he always loves the smell of manure...he has always breathed in a deep breath and said, "Ahhhh..it smells like home...He grew up a rancher. So, I've always LOVED that earthy-manure- outdoor smell from my Big strong Daddy.) I felt an overwhelming love for my parents...and peace for them and the current struggles they are facings. Sounds fairly silly now but I knew it was another tender mercy...a "Just Because" Love Note to me...the feelings of peace and love, the sunset, just the right songs on my IPOD, the sunset and yes, even the manure smells! My friends son was diagnosed last week with bone cancer...It has really shaken me up. I feel so amazing and grateful that Anthony and I have been blessed with 5 beautiful and completely healthy kids...I pray that continues. I pray for my friends son to be made whole if it by Thy will. Sitting on the outside looking in at the experiences my friends, my parents, siblings and in laws familes are going through. Heavenly Fathers hand is 200% there...IF we let it be. As I watch my own children learn and grow it pains my heart to let them struggle through things. Sometimes "free agency" really is lame...but it's the only way. The only way to fully learn, gorw and develop these diamonds in the rough called US! I am so happy to have the chance to prove myself worthy of this life..and that Heavnely Father is so merciful to let me have a "fresh start" each and every day. p.s. I LOVE YOU!